It came to my attention the other day after posting part one of this topic that the collective population views being the bigger person as synonymous with put up and shut up.

I beg to differ, folks, although I do see how it can be so easily misconstrued as such.

Taking the high road means...

* You assert your boundaries in a firm, yet loving, manner.
* You do not seek out the bad in others, and you do not pursue conflict.
* You do not respond to provocation to act negatively with negative attitudes.
* You refrain from being deliberately hurtful, misleading, or rude, and you recognize that being as such will not solve problems.
* You attempt to smooth things over during a disagreement by working towards a win-win situation, because you know in a healthy relationship, one person should not have to win over another.
* You aim towards being happy, grateful, and gracious in all circumstances that you find yourself in.
* You give of our gifts, talents, time, and services freely, because you wish to please, not because you feel you must.
* You respect other peoples decisions even when you disagree with them and have no intention of adopting their views and choices as your own.
* You approach each conflict with compassion and kindness for everybody. (You can be angry at somebody and still be kind to them.)

It does NOT mean...

* You let people take advantage of you.
* You permit people to treat you poorly.
* You cannot assert your boundaries in any manner.
* You must conform to another persons way of life or adopt the choices they have made as your own in order to please them.

People will respect you more when they see that you are able to stand your ground while simultaneously remaining cool and composed and gentle.

Taking the high road is not meant to change the other person. It is nearly impossible to eradicate somebody elses bad behavior, habits, viewpoints. Taking the high road is to ensure you, the one you have complete control over, live a life of peace and harmony and assurance that you are doing the right thing.

You cannot change the other person, and most likely will not hardly influence them to change with your attitude, but you can prevent things from becoming worse. You can prevent losing yourself. By controlling your own attitude, you can change how you view the situations, and how bearable they will become for you. You will find that the less you lean towards negative thinking, the more positive the situation will become for you.

Seek out that which is good and kind and become familiar with it.

Do not enable your anger by feeding into it.

Surround yourself with compassion and love.

Lastly, I admit that my journey to this point has been marred and scarred by some very serious wounds in my life. Emotional wounds take the longest to heal, but I had to learn to quit picking at them first. I hate to admit it, but although I have managed to take the high road with my peers and elders, I have struggled to be as kind and understanding with my own children. I have often caught myself getting out of control over minor infractions, and Id rather I didnt.

This is the final, and most important, area of my life that I must work to improve my attitude towards others.