I see it all the time, people doing disgusting and/or private things in public.

I am fed up. I finally came up with a list of things you should and should not do in public. This pertains to general public situations, not necessarily business or classroom environments, but I do suppose some things would also pertain to those as well.

Grooming should be done in private. Combing or styling your hair, clipping/cleaning your fingernails, adjusting your outfit (i.e. tucking in shirts), and washing up should be done behind closed doors (bathroom or your own home). Tweezers are to be left at home, always.

Apply all makeup at home or in the bathroom. I can agree with the occasional lip balm need, but mascara, powder, and even lipstick should be done only where there is adequate lighting and elbow room. Manly men, who are under the illusion (that we work so hard to maintain) that we are natural beauties, should never see women, or worse, another man, applying makeup.

Let the wedgie bother you until you get to the bathroom. Then and only then should you pick, shimmy, or adjust. And for heavens sake, keep your hands out of your pants!

If you have a small health problem, dont make us watch you fix it. Blowing or wiping your nose, nursing a blemish, getting a bug, or booger, out of your eye, those are all considered personal and you should possess enough couth to do it in private. Your car is not considered private unless you have tinted windows, by the way.

Excuse yourself. Everybody has what we PC people refer to as bodily functions. They are unavoidable, but can be minimized. Do your best to minimize and then excuse yourself. Only children and imbeciles will think they are funny. Seriously.

Mind Your Manners. Please and thank you, excuse me, Im sorry, Nice to meet you. You know the rules, well, most of you do. If you were taught manners, use them, always. Treat everybody like Kings and Queens and be grateful for all the people who do the same for you.

Keep your private parts covered. The clothing rating in public is G, or, in PG-13 in bars. Far too many people think they should flaunt what they have in an enticing manner, but truthfully, you are advertising the wrong qualities to the population, unless thats all you have going for you. Undergarments go under your garments... get it? Likewise.. if somebodys flaunting their one and only good quality, dont stare. Boobs are just boobs, and butts are just butts. Afford yourself a glance and get on with life.

Cellphones? Need I remind you the conversation is NOT private? That said, the rest of us would rather not hear a one-sided conversation about anything private going on in your life, and most of us dont want to hear any one-sided conversations period, but we can tolerate a minute or two if you must as long as it is G-rated. If you wouldnt tell your Grandma, we dont want to know it either. Teenagers should never use the phone in public because its just far too annoying, no matter what they are saying.

Use your inside voice. It also wouldnt hurt to pretend you are talking to royalty all the time. Shouting and using cuss words and slang make you appear ignorant and stupid and people will not take you seriously. Be well-spoken, carry your tone graciously.

Pointing out others issues, a big no-no, but... If it is something that would embarrass them (underwear tucked into the pantyhose, for example), do it quietly and discreetly. If it is a wardrobe malfunction, only tell a member of the same gender as you (girls tell girls the bra strap is showing... guys tell guys the zipper is down, etc.) Dont point out bad behavior or youll be asking for it.

Dont get drunk in public. It opens you up for all sorts of embarrassment and problems you wont be able to explain once youre sober again.

Dont count money. Unless you are actually in a bank. You are a danger to yourself, and it is rude to brag (by show of cash) even if you arent showing anybody in particular what you have.

Dont talk to yourself unless you are willing to share the conversation with the strange people you will attract.

Dont talk about your personal issues. Im talking mainly about private health issues that should probably be a friends-only topic. Some things are okay, but do present it well and not with sound effects or wild gestures.

Dont get angry in public at your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner/friend/family member. Calm down, walk away, make nice. Id rather not be a witness.